New Report Highlights Trend in Sharing our Digital Lives

Technology has allowed relationships to extend far beyond the physical realm, which can create a complex web of shared digital spaces. For some, sharing some digital access with intimate partners, such as passcodes, location data, and social media accounts, can feel helpful and can foster a sense of trust. Many couples don’t share constantly, but they may decide to share when one person is traveling or going for a run, for example. For survivors of abuse, however, their partner having access to their digital accounts can create many harmful risks. Unfortunately, many abusive individuals misuse this access as a means to stalk, harass, threaten, and monitor their partners in order to maintain power and control.

A recent report from Malwarebytes titled WHAT’S MINE IS YOURS: How couples share an all-access pass to their digital lives highlights how digital sharing is common among couples, with 85% of people in committed relationships granting their partners access to personal accounts. The report explains just how commonplace this has become: “Sharing digital access with your partner appears to be inescapable: Whether it’s sharing accounts for household smart devices or granting your partner access to your social media accounts and messages, every single couple shares access in some way.”

This form of sharing is even more common among Gen Z, where 95% share access. This form of access is often seen as a major “key to building trust,” but it can also lead to undue pressure and significant regret. Forty-three percent of all respondents admitted feeling pressured to share their digital lives, with Gen Z and Millennials experiencing this pressure at higher rates than older generations.

The report goes on to share that nearly three in four partners acknowledge that there is much to learn about navigating a shared digital footprint. Half of those in a committed relationship admit that digitally disentangling their location from their partner would be difficult, given how much access they share, and 56% state that they could use some guidance on how to handle shared digital access.

The Safety Net Project at the National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV) advised on the survey and report. We believe that privacy is deeply connected to safety, especially for survivors of abuse. This report highlights the critical need for all of us to examine norms around privacy as they exist within intimate relationships, as well as the need for tools that allow us to easily disentangle ourselves from shared accounts. While sharing account access or information can be useful, consent should remain at the core of these decisions. It should be a person’s decision to share, and no one should feel pressured into allowing access to their digital lives.

Malwarebytes has also developed an online resource hub to help people learn how to increase privacy and disconnect from shared accounts if they want to. To learn more about Securing Devices, take a look at our Securing Devices & Accounts and Assessing for Technology Abuse and Privacy Concerns resources in our Survivor Toolkit.